I’ve been rather MIA this month, I see. The past three-plus weeks have been filled with late nights of working in the lab, working of patients’ charts, writing lists of what I’m supposed to be doing on clinic and trying to semi-memorize them so I (hopefully) sort of look like I know what I’m doing, studying for exams, and on and on. In the midst of it all, I haven’t forgotten about my forlorn little blog; rather, I’ve been thinking a lot about it but am consistently without the time to actually add to it.
There’s less of an academic workload for this quarter but much more patient interaction than before, than ever, really. I’m a natural introvert who recharges when I have some time alone. On the other hand, I do enjoy working with people as patients but it definitely is a draining experience for my introvert core, especially at the start of this steep learning curve on clinic. All this patient interaction is a wonderful learning experience, yet I’m left craving sleep and becoming more even more exhausted the following day.
I remember my first day of clinicals when I was going to school for medical radiography. I was thrown into the ER with two other classmates. The first case of the day that I helped out with? A dislocated hip from a snowboarding incident that occurred the night before. Poor guy was groaning; everything we did hurt and legitimately so. Thus was the start of one of the busiest 8-hour shifts the technologists said they had ever had in the ER.
When I got home at about 4 pm, I fell asleep on the couch soon after with a TV blaring beside my head (someone else was watching) and was completely dead to the world for a couple of hours. I was so drained from mentally trying to navigate such a new situation that dealt with people interaction, one that is not natural to me, that it took a physical toll on my body.
Ever since that first experience of taking care of patients, being responsible for someone else’s well-being, interacting someone who could be nice or yelling at you or saying you’re cute and asking for your number, I’ve realized that I’ll always hit this huge wall of adapting to deal with people in new experiences. All I can do is keep moving, keep showing up, keep trying, because I know that everything will even out and that I’ll regain my sanity and restful nights back sooner or later.
I just need to keep marching along, along.