Stalemate

I guess I’m not much of a writer.

I used to love writing in journals although it’s been more of a sporadic impulse. In retrospect, I used to only write when I was going through some sort of mental turmoil (i.e. boys) or on a great adventure (i.e. 6 weeks in Indonesia). As for regularly? Not so much.

On the contrary, I have sort of been through my share of emotional turmoil for the past season or so but haven’t written anything on here. Why not? I’m exactly not sure. Maybe it’s the pressure I put on myself to write something creative? The busywork of adding photos and links to the posts are cumbersome? Pure laziness?

Actually, the latter suggestion is probably the greatest culprit of the above. On the other hand, I have this suspicion that it has more to do with not wanting to share too much of my personal thoughts on here. Even with my journal entries, I hardly ever put my most personal thoughts down. Not like I really have anything to hide….I just didn’t.

I think hiding my innermost thoughts and feelings have something to do with realizing how incomparable they seem to the other hurts in the world, the other horrible life experiences others have to go through. Even though my dog could have died a week and a half ago from her crazy traumatic experience and that I was in a slight mental wreck for a day, it seems ridiculous to complain or air it out when there are other daily horrors occurring other places like the disaster Japan is going through.

In essence, I’ve reached a writing lethargy, a stalemate of sorts.

Now don’t count me out–I still want to write bits about my life, insignificant as they may seem, because I’ve always had this thing for keeping up a journal. Even if I haven’t been consistent at it. I’ll do my very best to put my two cents in on at least a weekly basis even if I end up presenting literary dreariness itself.

— — —

I’m supposed to be in charge of special music this week. The problem? I forgot about it until I was reminded of it yesterday. On top of that, my default backup plan–the husby on the violin–actually has a previous engagement elsewhere at a different church. Since I’m pretty horrible at finding people to do special music, I guess I’ll have to put my backup “default backup” plan into the works: I’ll be the performer this weekend after all.

— — —

The hubs is in the kitchen making awful sounds with tearing down one of the plaster walls. He wants to move a doorway so future cabinets don’t stick out into the middle of it. I concurred with the wall demolition; the reasoning makes sense. I just hope that our kitchen renovation continues along at a regular pace because, truth be told, it rather sucks to work in a room that’s torn up for weeks but isn’t moving anywhere forward in the meantime.

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